COVID19 and the murder of my 19 year old daughter in 2004-Still unsolved

The COVID has been hard but I m trying to get back to her murder. Two new podcasts will be heard in the next month. CASEFILE from Australia is Next weekend June 13. I will post it here. We had to stop our reward fund push and I had to stop my CARAVAN TO CATCH A KILLER TOURS. I have completed 20 through 250000 miles through 48 states with more than 300 regional reporters sharing our story. Still no National news and now more than ever we need you to write, email, call National news about us. Thinking of getting an RV and wrapping it if hotels are too chancey. As many know, our main DNA profile led us to someone who is most likely not our killer. This was thru CeCe Moore's analysis!!Thus the parabon Phenotype picture of a Caucasian male is no longer valid. It could be anyone. We have to go over all the old evidence and suspects of all races now.



20TH CARAVAN TO CATCH A KILLER BEGINS- TULSA STORY-NOW IN OMAHA

What a great send off with Vincent Hill from Channel 2-Tulsa

New billboard donated by Griffin Communications

Welcome! Did you find us from our billboard? please let me know at therapoet@aol.com. Griffin Communications owners of Channel 6 and channel 9 donated this billboard space to us there forever in my heart

CARAVAN TO CATCH A KILLER TOUR #15

Albuquerque/ Sante Fe THANK YOU. You have been great at rest stops, downtown, on the road...letting me know you saw us, asked abut our story. And today Channel 13 spent time downtown with me, giving us the gift of a story. It will either air tonight or tomorrow. The two times I have been here I always feel welcomed. And to all the people on I-40 driving to Phoenix--at rest stops and stores. Your coming up to me, offering hugs, prayers etc. ALL truly made my day. I am forever grateful

MY HEART HURTS

Heading to Bowling Green for last chance story in Kentucky. People in cities, on road great but no media contact from multiple attempts to contact. Home for a week or so to work, replenish funds, then back out to Northeast states. Still trying to get Brittany's name on our DNA at Arrest bill that passed after eight years hard work. Starting at year 4 of fight, I asked every year thereafter. Just received email from ProTem,...too late??. 1) I asked prior to the bill being drafted this year but somehow the Assistant didn't ask until too late. 2)I didn't do these 8 years for the name on the bill but it hurts they didn't think of it anyway. ..**Yes the law being passed is most important, but over years I watched at least 5 of my "family" of murdered children get a)their murder nationally publicized, then solved and their murdered child's name on their States law. I am only human and want that legacy for my child...And now I sit here with 1 story in 1.5 weeks........152000 miles and 152 stories but no national overage, no solving and now no name on law.........my heart hurts

Less than week from CARAVAN TO CATCH A KILLER#15 to NE…. of course.....sh...t hits fan to possibly delay or cancel. No… not car (6 out of 9 years it was) Trying to sell Chandler, OK home, I tried to get ROOF wind/hail damage fixed by home owners insurance –(paid into 11 years w/no claims). Told this week, they’re not renewing homeowners at anniversary Aug 8th. NAtional LLyodds says not because of claim but because house is empty. Won’t do just dwelling coverage because too big & empty? (Duh trying to sell) Yet filing roof claim in June they didn’t tell me, nor July or August when talked on phone?? My agent said trying other companies but roof may have to be done before insurance covers. If I don’t get coverage, my mortgage Company, Chase, may set high fine! REALLY?? Roof cost 1$0-14000, probably must be here to fix. CARAVANs cost $3000 which saved after waiting a year, after layoff Dec 29th, after car dying Jan 28th , after waiting for WRAP end of July.Yes ........make it through but REALLY????

SILENCE ECHOES LOUDER EACH DAY

Two weeks on road 1 story. My heart hurts at the 11th anniversary. Everything moves farther and farther away

Clock is ticking

Beautiful drive to Casper. Now it has been Lincoln Nebraska and Denver /Cheyenne area with more than 20 emails sent out in each city, no responses to multiple emails I sent out every night. Have dropped off flyers at PD and such. My queries/emails are the same (better edited) to ones that got m 10-14 stories on a CARAVAN but 4 days out and no response, not one response. To make it more difficult, my Computer is freezing up. Makes it slow to get emails out --up late every nite to do the emails(hotel computer always in use) Cell Phone having problems, hope calls weren't thwarted. Year 10,11, harder than others=detective is almost non communicative, media local and regional more quiet. Getting stories always made the rest of the year better. Now it feels like one more thing taken. All the things that helped me over the years to keep the strength,recharge me, one by one are gone. Slowness would be okay if I had more weeks out like I used to= but clock is ticking....and then I'll have to wait another year, another year older--twisting my heart. I can handle anything--- Don't mind the aloneness on the road, the long hours of email work or silence in the hotel................when a story is the end result. MORE SO THAN EVER, PLEASE EMAIL WRITE CALL NATIONAL NEWS. Create a call event....??? Her story, many womens' stories are dying without more exposure. Th

is will become ice, not cold. If yu do write natl, please let me know so I can follow up. 2 people so far, from last post said they did or will. Yes seeking tips but about educating people that all DNA at arrest will do is save lives......I ask so little all year...BUT Thanks to those in Ft Collins who came up, including the infectous disease doc and the man who moved his family to the US from australia and who shed a tear...the young photographer, the mother who lost a daughter to drunk driver. You all made my day

HOPE, LIKE FOOD IS NEEDED TO LIVE, IS NEEDED TO SURVIVE THE LOSS OF A CHILD.........

Sunrise again meets my mourning as I begin to pack up and move on from New Orleans.


I try not to be sad and I fully iunderstand why all this occurs but it doesn't make it any easier to be alone on the road, alone when I am home and not be able to find a way to achieve this mostly on my own for the last 10 years.



At the same time, I will never be able to repay those few people who have been there again and again.
The greatest recharge comes from when I am on the road. It is people passing me on the road,showing thumbs up, who talk to me at rest stops, the reporters who do find our story compelling to their communities, you all are the ones who give me strength to go on.
 But heading towards the decade anniversary in under 3 weeks, being out on the road for almost a week and only 2 strories, no responses at all from the 40 emails sent to various media in both New Orleans and Baton Rogue (these same emails have given us 14-16 STORIES ON PAST CARAVANS.


At 10 years, the primary detective has retired, community media friends, who have followed us for years in Tulsa and Oklahoma City, as most reporters do, have moved on. My CARAVAN TO CATCH A KILLER tours have gone from 2 times a year to 1 time a year due to what I can afford.


The time out becomes more costly while getting fewer stories,




Trying to organize the balloon release at the Capitol on 10/4/14 the 10th anniversary. Trying to get volunteers for the "Walk with Brit on Rt 66; Diminish the risk--needing 4-5 days of drivers driving the WRAP behind me, other needs. So far the usual 2-3 say they will.


I have never been able to draw many and not sure why, haven't been able to raise a reward fund etc. It seems now even less volunteers to help with events. When I am around people, they seem to be compelled to help.......................then I stand alone.


But usually I vent like this and move on.... and that is what I am doing,


IF YOU SEE US ON THE ROAD...PLEASE HONK, TELL YOUR LOCAL NEWS YOU SAW US.
IF YOU KNOW HOW TO EMAIL, LET NATIONAL NEWS KNOW YOU SAW THIS. IF NATIONAL NEWS COULD SHARE THIS, I COULD STOP AT 103000 MILES.

WITH GRATITUDE FOR THOSE WHO DO ACKNOWLEDGE US!!

breathe............

Trying to breath. Working towards 10th anniversary of Brittany's murder/burial, to be able to be able to afford the 12th CARAVAN TO CATCH A KILLER tour for anniversary & starting organizing my WALK WITH BRIT ON RT 666 TO DIMINISH RISK-a walk from Tulsa murder site to Capitol of Oklahoma to publicize need to pass Oklahoma's DNA at Arrest law after 6 years----but 1) Car is acting up-may be 2nd transmission,like last year's is dying--so may need new trans then 2) plumbers came today to find why upstairs tankless was not heating, why pipes in sinks back up from upstairs/downstairs toilets. RESULTS(a) tankless water heater may be wrong size,so might need new larger one--meaning rewiring-etc which warrenty might not cover (b) checking pipes, tried to find outside drain pipe--NOT.. If house doesn't have one, warrenty company won't let them rod pipes, and then they won't address problem so warrenty won't cover. This means if roots have blocked the pipe, I will have to pay for deconstruct and new system........really.......really....really

READ CONSUMER AFFAIRS STORY ABOUT CARAVAN--POST EVERYWHERE!! 1ST CVT TRANSMISSION DIED>>2ND BEGAN GOING BAD AFTER 2 WEEKS!! NISSAN WON'T HELP!

Post by Brittany Phillips.

Trying to keep breathing---what will the verdict on car, 1000 miles from home, be????

Post by Brittany Phillips.

AN UNBELIEVABLE STORY BY CHANNEL 8 ABC TULSA

KTUL.com - Tulsa, Oklahoma - News, Weather

FINDING MY BREATH IN ORDER TO KEEP ON

(more added most likely)

I just spent the last hour trying to get my computer to operate right. It still won't work without hiccups! Of course it decides to malfunction right after I decided to come to our website, and pledge to myself and Brittany that I will recharge, regroup, find some way finacially and emotionally to continue. I didn't want to do this"in public" on facebook (not wanting to look as if begging for support).  Here, some may find this blog, this specific one,  by chance, but it may also not be seen for days. Thus I feel good knowing I am not just speaking for an audience. I know I have to do this to get myself back on track on my ongoing mission of love and empathy to find Brittany's killer and to help protect other families from such devastating loss. I have to find some way to get back on track after such an emotional loss with our MILES OF TEARS POKER RUN as well as its' financial loss.

I am used to finacial losses, have learned to ride with them especially after Brittany's murder, especially because almost all of the 67000 miles of the 10 CARAVAN TO CATCH A KILLER tours were self funded. I have learned to roll with loss as each of my 3 other fund raising events over the last 4 years, have been hit with a car breakdown with its subsequent car rental, a disrupted ability to publicize, thus small turnouts, all which destroyed any fund raising. I have learned to live without a washer,a dryer, a hot water heater that stays working. I have learned to live without repairs to my house unless I can do it. In return I have been able to travel cross country telling Brittany's story, trying to save lives. And I am okay with this.

But my selfish mind begs "Why...what else do I have to experience after Brittany's murder...haven't I paid my dues?"

I would have been okay with a small turnout. I knew our MILES OF TEARS Poker Run, only in its 1st year, would probably not have a large crowd, probably wouldn't even make back the $500 or so I put into getting the word out, good prizes and treats.  BUT EVEN A SMALL CROWD, BY WORD OF MOUTH COULD  HELP BUILD THE REPUTATION OF WHAT THE RIDE COULD OFFER. We had great prizes, great raffle items and a small crowd would have lucked out with all the prize material.

What has been confusing to everyone who saw how much promotion we did, is that after 2 months of publicity--posters on the back of the car, posters and flyers at bike shops, gas stations, biker bars, news stories, etc; after great responses from people I met, Christine met, to have NO ONE SHOW WAS DEVASTATING.

It hurt my heart because it felt like after 8 years no one cared about Brittany story. It hurt my heart because it would limit my ability to go on a CARAVAN  in January.

ALL I CAN SAY RIGHT NOW IS I AM TRYING TO FIND A WAY BACK. THE HARDEST THING FOR ME TO ACCEPT IS THAT I REALLY DO SO MUCH OF THIS ALONE. THERE ARE A FEW LOYAL SUPPORTERS. I WOULD DIE WITHOUT THEM.  I CAN'T EXPECT OTHERS TO BE INVOLVED 24/7 BUT AFTER THE POKER RUN WEEKEND IT FELT LIKE ONLY OUR SMALL CIRCLE OF VOLUNTEERS WERE THE ONES WHO CARED-and all of them were related to Christine Badgwell, my friend and originator of the poker run idea.

I JUST WANT TO UNDERSTAND HOW THE FACE ABOVE DOEES NOT DRAW PEOPLE IN. WHAT AM I DOING TO TAKE AWAY FROM A FACE THAT WOULD BREAK YOUR HEART?

I HAVE LEARNED TO DO SO MUCH OF THIS ALONE BUT TIMES LIKE THE PAST WEEKEND OF HER ANNIVERSARY AND POKER RUN REALLY MAKE ME MISS NOT AT LEAST HAVING SOME ARMS TO CURL INTO AND SAY...."PLEASE TAKE OVER JUST FOR A FEW MOMENTS"

I am sorry Britty. 8 years with a marker like this have knocked the wind out. I will get my breath back soon.

Impressed with Response to the CARAVAN

This week, June 4-8th I have been in Tulsa and OKC. It appears the car is still generating interest because the last 3 days more than 500 views!!! Thank you everyone who is taking the time to check us out. The car (and I) were at Bricktown around lunch time. A friend and part of her family and I were watching the Red Dirt Procession of Dancers at the opening of the Pow Wow. WHat a show of honor for heritage, for those beyond our living realm. It just reinforced the power of memory and doing things in honor of those who have stepped from our physical connection

Burlington Thank you...you touched my heart

Unbelievable story with NECN and Jack Thurston and his photographer (so bad on names) More later but the artistry of piece made me cry!! http://www.necn.com/04/30/12/Moms-Caravan-to-Catch-a-Killer-stops-in-/landing_newengland.html?blockID=699904&feedID=4206

‎10TH CARAVAN TO CATCH A KILLER-A GO!!!! WILL LEAVE TOMORROW 4-6AM. Decided to head thru Louisville--10 hrs. Then 9.5 to DC. I really am touched (sure some people think I am lol) by the donations. Please don't apologize for you feeling it is small. No gift is small and it really touched my heart that people took the time to give....as far as I am concerned---A DOLLAR EQUALS DISTANCE EXTENDED! Someone told me about putting little cars on the website that could have initials. I may try to do that!!! You all are in my heart whether it as a donation or well wishes!!!!!!!!
Tomorrow tuesday I may not be online alot. If you need to contact me you can text or call 918 629-2317...Maggie

10TH CARAVAN GETS A BOOST AND WILL START 4/10/12

Friday I feared last Sept's CARAVAN could have been the last. I hoped a small loan would go thru. It should have but a mistake in the credit file nicked it. The reporting credit agencies will make changes but it will take a month. I feared I couldn't get on the road with funds at the level they are and knew work would not let me off for a long time if I had to wait. 4 yrs I've tried doing this on just my money, not take handouts, not beg. But I knew I had to do something with our our 7.5 year on-the case detetctive retiring, the best suspect after 6 weeks not matching our DNA profile, it felt necessary I get out, help generate tips, get movement on the new detective's first months. (He'll be good I think) .

Well people touched my heart the minute I put the call out. I NOW CAN SAY THE 10TH CARAVAN STARTS TUESDAY. I knew many miss Britty,want to help but I knew money was tight. Even so, I asked people to go to our website to do our paypal. I noted, if 3-4 people donated $1., that would be a tank of gas. SOME PEOPLE WENT THERE BUT DONATED MORE THAN 1$.. I also tried to get creative. I said I'd work for donations. NO TAKERS ON THAT YET. I said I'd come to houses and wash cars for a donation... CARAVAN TO CATCH A KILLER CAR CLEAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I would come to houses to get quarters.....hey I got it!!! CARAVAN TO CATCH A KILLER COLLECT THE QUARTERS!!! I will go to OKC, Tulsa, Muskogee. I plan to leave Tuesday. I AM STILL WILLING TO WORK With gratitude Maggie

CALL FOR BRITTANY

Decided to stay over in Nashville--with heavy winds and possible snow--my car will float all over the road.

PLEASE HELP

This gives me one more day for a story here in Nashville and also to see if National gets interested. Nashville has been in the forefront of changing many DNA laws, making the process more efficient and pushing for victim's rights. That being said, I am asking, pleading for anyone, everyone who has a minute, to send an email, fax something, call any of the national news, say "do you know about the mom who has travelled 54000 mile over last 4 years trying to help find her daughter's killer and change laws to save other parents from such horror?" May describe how I am cutting this one short because of funds because they have all been self funded. National, when interested seems to be only when I am on the road. I can provide emails I have and phone numbers. You can also do a search on the web. All I have is today and 10 hrs on road tomorrow. If you ever have asked what can I do, do this. Please. It doesn't cost anything but a few moments. therapoet@aol.com

To all parents, loved ones of those viciously, inhumanely taken from physical parts of our lives, I pray for ongoing strength in this New Year. I hope you hear, if you haven't yet, the chorus they sing together for us; beside us, above us as we take the steps we do each day. I hope you feel them dancing with us, making us stronger.

Life is but a momentary touch
found when taking a chance,
chanced steps through love’s
door that births lifelong dances.
We dance the back and forth
of gift and loss, of pain and joy
done to an opus of exuberant choruses.
And even if, within a moment’s notice the music stops,
dark fear is short lived that dances will end.
We soon dance stronger and longer
to ethereal music begun,
because of that time together.
12/31/30 MZ
With gratitude for all the kindness shared, with hope for continued strength..... Maggie Zingman Mother of Brittany Phillips 10-4-85 to 10-4-04