CONVERSATION WITH MYSELF , BRITTY AND QUOTES TO KEEP US GOING

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WEAVING THROUGHT THE WALLS OF HOPE

A COVERSATION WITH BRITTANY--A DANCE WITH QUOTES AND THOUGHTS

OF WAYS TO DRAW PEOPLE IN TO FIND SOME PERSONAL VALUE IN THIS QUEST.

Brittany, for the 5th time in 10 years I will try to raise a reward fund.  I will keep trying to find a national voice (national news) to join the 132 + voices of local reporters who shared our story across 46 states doing the CARAVAN TO CATCH A KILLER  tours.

Just passed the 10th anniversary of your murder/burial/ birthday (10/4/04). I cried at 10 years passing, cried as I see so few people around us. People express their caring but we never see them beside us. I am too much a reminder that they too could lose their children?

Why over the 10 years, with as much as you were loved, why have fund raising events,  memorial events, and a Poker run, all lost the initial people involved, few offering their time for set up and promotion. Even tho I lived with little money those first 7 years, I tried. Now I cry because at post 10.......there is no end to this solitary path.

IT BREAKS MY HEART. I DON'T UNDERSTAND...WHAT MAKES YOU OR ME SO DIFFERENT THAT THESE EVENTS FAIL,

IT BREAKS MY HEART. I DON'T UNDERSTAND...WHAT MAKES YOU OR ME SO DIFFERENT THAT NATIONAL NEWS  WILL NOT SHARE OUR STORY, THAT SOME WITH NATIONAL PROFILES WON'T HELP.

HOW CAN IT BE SOO MANY PEOPLE LOVED YOU, YET NO ONE STANDS BY OUR SIDE?

HOW CAN IT BE THAT I HAVE TRAVELLED 106000 MILES ACROSS 46 STATES AND HAD 132 REPORTERS TELL OUR STORY YET NO ONE STANDS BY OUR SIDE?

WHY, WHEN MOST KNOW I AM NOT JUST DOING THIS FOR YOU, BUT TO SAVE OTHER DAUGHTER, NO ONE STANDS BY OUR SIDE?

                                                       WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF THIS WAS YOUR DAUGHTER?

 LOSING A CHILD
A CONVERSATION WITH QUOTES

 

   (ME) Brittany, each day I breath your loss, like I did on your burial day when my eyes greeted the first stars of mourning.

   " your absence has gone through me, like thread through a needle. Everything I do is stitched with its color.” ― W.S. Merwin

 

    (ME) Brittany, my steps those first days  were a solo journey, not knowing where I'd go, what I'd find. And tho steps remain solo sometimes, upon highways where people and their cities  bestow gifts upon me, I do not feel alone.

 

"A beautiful thing never gives so much pain as does failing to hear and see it".Michelangelo

 But I refuse to die. People say to me "God I'd die if that happened to me." I tell them, before this happened I thought I would but  I learned to live in honor of the lost....

“Tears shed for another person are not a sign of weakness. They are a sign of a pure heart.”  

  We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey. - Kenji Miyazawa

                                      

   "There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love." - Washington Irving

"Philanthropy is not about money...its about feeling the pain of others and caring enough about their needs to help."  Timothy Pina

     

"You cannot prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from building nests in your hair". -- Old Chinese Proverb

10 years without solving is when long term unsolved murders need help, It is when money speaks from those who will not tell anything if they don't get paid or deals etc. Sady
I watched $50000 rewards, $100000 help solve murders where 0- to $5000 doesn't . It sometimes seems las if people seeing large reward funds react--"this must be important or "valid" enough for people to offer to help try to solve it and so they give more. But it is only me funding my CARAVANs  that crisscross the country, counteracting Britty's silenced voice or trying to fund events which seem to fail...because it is only me?

"We emerge into the light not by denying our pain, but by walking through it"Joan Borysenko

 

  

    My 60th birthday will be Feb 11. Britty was murdered right before my 50th. I will keep fighting this solitary fight. Because I have to keep walking thru it. I hope to be part of an indepth story in Beaumont Texas about unsolved murders. This is the area where Morgan Harrington's killer was found (while searching for him as suspect of missing Hannah Graham) on Gilchrist Beach was reported as an area where predators end up.
    But a story told without reward fund  doesn't travel far....we need help...we need voices to tell our story to save other daughters. Do I go another 10 years alone........
                        WHAT IF THIS WAS YOUR DAUGHTER?

WALKIN WITH BRIT ON RT 66 TO DIMNISH RISK-MOTHER TO WALK 100+ MILES FROM DAUGHTER'S MURDER SITE TO CAPITOL

A am a mother on a mission of love trying, through law change, to protect other parents and family members from going through the never ending echo of loss that I have since Brittany was murdered. This walk is to publicize the need and have lawmakers, who vote against these laws, publically answer why they do not want to protect women and children

Description The tenth anniversary of Brittany Phillips (my daughter) murder/burial, 10/4/04, is just around the corner.......a decade since someone raped/suffocated her after he broke into her 2nd story apartment (next to the high school she graduated from) or was waiting for her to fall asleep. The birth of WALKIN WITH BRIT ON RT 66 occurred because at the turn of this decade, even though we have DNA from 2sources from the monster, and have compared it to 3000 regional suspects and half a million in CODIS, we have yet to match and suspect sample to our crime scene DNA sample. The WALK will start at the apartment complex where she was murdered and end at the OK Capitol to address OK lawmakers who've blocked our DNA at Arrest bill for 5 years. Each year behind closed doors (like 23 other States) they vote to protect violent criminals, yet allow women and children to live at risk. Women and children remain at risk because most violent predators will have arrests covering 10-20 years before they ever get convicted. Examples of these timelines of preventable crimes (crimes that would not occur had their DNA been taken at arrest) will be placed on lawmakers desks. . FOR FIVE YEARS Lawmakers pass laws behind closed doors, where they don't have to hear that the majority of crimes that need DNA to identify the attacker are the violent ones of which 90% of victims are women and 9% children. FOR FIVE YEARS LAWMAKERS HAVE VOTED IT IS OKAY FOR WOMEN AND CHILDREN TO LIVE AT RISK. THIS WALK WILL ASK THEM PUBLICALLY "WHY IS IT OKAY TO LET WOMEN AND CHILDREN TO LIVE AT RISK.

HISTORY OF BRITTANY'S MURDER AND THE CARAVAN TO CATCH A KILLER A decade since lead detective, Jeff Felton and post his retirement (still works on it), Eddie Majors, began the never tiring work keeping the case from turning cold but mystery remains unsolved.

Within this decade, 8 years ago LAMAR Advertising began a 4-year rotation of our billboard around sites in Tulsa..

Within this decade, since 2007, with the unbelievable gift from FELLARS and Midwest Wraps, of a WRAP for my RAV 4, in 2011, a WRAP for my Nissan Cube, the 1st CARAVAN TO CATCH A KILLER tour began. Now 11 tours completed in my pink/purple "wrapped" CUBE with pictures of Brittany embedded on the butterflied background (raped/suffocated Tulsa 9/27/04), CARAVAN TO CATCH A KILLER on all sides, a profile of her killer on the back.

Within this decade, my CARAVANs covered 100000 miles across 46 states as 126 reporters gifted us with stories about Brittany’s murder mystery, helped us us seek tips,, educate communities about laws that put women and children at risk of the same fate as Brit. They've shared Brittany’s story as ‘the girl next door.” Not because a grieving mother travelled thousands of self-funded miles on a misssion of love by herself but because they knew Brittany could be their daughter. They passionately shared how, when half the States refuse to take DNA at Arrest. they allow violent criminals to remain in our communities years with possibly multiple arrests without their DNA being identified. Sadly this puts all our mothers, daughters, loved ones at risk because the majority of the crimes needing DNA to solve are violent ones where 90 % of the victims are women, 9 % are children.

Within this decade through media stories and miles on my missions of love, I met community members, reporters, local law enforcement, DAs, lawmakers, other grieving parents, as well as thousands on highways. The thumbs up as people drove by or hugs at rest stops, gave me courage to carry on.

A decade since Brittany’s murder, since she was torn from my arms, from my life. My breath escapes me as I feel passed time. Even with my success of local news stories, the need intensifies with the story getting older. One time a year for my daughter who will never get older, limits who can hear our story, exposure that is 1/100000 of people national news might reach and I won't reach before I die.

A parent losing a child, has a cavern open in their heart. It beats in irregular mourning that creates a sense of future imploding, My CARAVANs, amid the never-ending loss, give me breath that calms the moaning, the ignitable beating of the heart.

Now, in a sadly similar pattern happening almost every year of this decade, chaos/cost hit my life and threaten to shut down the 12th CARAVAN, the Decade of Loss memorial and my “Walk with Brit on Rt 66; Lessen the risk,” Car problems (currently $1000) still ongoing. I may face $ 1000—4000 plumbing costs . The unethical practices of the home warranty company 1) delaying appointments for 4 weeks, 2) after a 15 minute appointment and taking my 75, 5 days later denies any coverage. This means I will have to buy a larger tankless water heater, have it rewired for shower and replacement of water pipe.

What more can a mother do when the only breath she has is in threat of being taken away. Now a decade, with no CARAVAN TO CATCH A KILLER tour and national news still ignores., our story has more chance to die. I know there is no reason but days like this I go"What have I done wrong,? I treat trauma clients now soldiers for almost 30 years. I try to save other dauhter's lives. I have even paid tolls forward for anyone behind me for the last 7 years............... I am tired.



General Information 1) Walk will start Sat 10/11 in Tulsa near Union High School & the apartment where she was killed 2) Walk will connect to Route 66 and will be followed through Bristow, Stround , Chandler, Luther to Edmond and then down to the Capitol 3) Goal is 20-30 miles a day 4) Media and public forum stops in cities along the way. 5) Needs--- a) VOLUNTEERS to drive my car behind me- I need volunteers to commit and not back out at last second. The event fails if a driver doesn't show. b) NEED INFORMATION IF ANYONE KNOWS ABOUT PERMITS c) Need sponsors--gas, water, publicity

10 years......How can it be a decade

Within a few months, I face the 10th anniversary of Brittany's murder. Hopefully, the 12th CARAVAN TO CATCH A KILLER tour will begin mid September. Yet like 7 years out of the last 10, this year right before the anniversary and a CARAVAN, car problems and house pipe problems, may impac the funds to be used for the CARAVAN. Since 2007 I’ve completed 11 tours in my pink/purple "wrapped" CUBE with pictures of Brittany embedded on the butterflied background (raped/suffocated Tulsa 9/27/04), CARAVAN TO CATCH A KILLER on all sides and profile of killer on the back.


As I face a decade since her murder, behind me are 100000 miles travelled across 46 states where 126 reporters gifted us with stories about Brittany’s murder mystery, helping us ask for tips and, more so, to educate communities about laws that keep women and children at risk of the same fate as Brittany.


A decade since someone raped and suffocated her after he either broke in to her 2nd story apartment (next to the high school she graduated from )or was waiting for her to fall asleep. A decade since the crime scene DNA started being compared to suspect DNA, now over 3000 Oklahoma suspects and probably half a million in CODIS.


A decade since the lead detective, Jeff Felton and post his retirement (still works on it), Eddie Majors, began their never tiring work that still keeps the case from turning cold. Even so, the mystery remains unsolved.


  Within this decade, 8 years ago LAMAR Advertising began the 4-year rotation around sites in Tulsa, of their donated billboard. Within this decade, 7 years ago, reporters across the US began to tell Brittany’s story as ‘the girl next door.” Not because I, the grieving mother, was travelling thousands of miles, self funded and by myself but because reporters understood her murder could happen to anyone as long as there are at least 24 States that refuse to take DNA at Arrest. They helped me raise community awareness regarding risks of waiting to take DNA until conviction and how this allows dangerous people to live within our communities until convicted and how the majority of the crimes that need DNA to help solve, are the violent crimes where 90 % of the victims are women and 9 % are children. Within this decade, 7 years ago (10/7/07), through unbelievable gifts from FELLARS and Midwest Wraps, of a WRAP for my RAV 4 and in 2011, a WRAP for my Nissan Cube,. the 1st CARAVAN TO CATHC A KILLER tour began. Now, these self-funded missions of love have now visited visit 115 cities across 46 states. and allowed me to meet community members, reporters, local law enforcement, DAs, lawmakers, as well as thousands met on highways in-between. The thumbs up as people drove by or hugs at rest stops, each experience gave me courage to carry on. A decade since Brittany’s murder, since she was abruptly taken from my life.


My breath escapes me at the passed time. Even with my success of local news stories, my now, one time a year CARAVAN has only given us exposure to 1/100000 of people national news might reach.


, When a parent loses a child, a cavern opens inside their heart that beats in irregular mourning. To quiet a sense of imploding, my CARAVANs give me breath beyond the never-ending loss. What more can a mother do..

MY HEART IS TOUCHED AND FILLED WITH GRATITUDE FOR THE TWIN CITIES

Post by Brittany Phillips.

THANK YOU GREEN BAY. You have been friendly all day and thank you WBAY for a great story!!!!! If you see me tomorrow tooling around town....Come up and say hi!!!!
Chicago Sunday

http://www.wbay.com/story/23305739/2013/08/30/caravan-to-catch-a-killer-comes-to-green-bay

"Caravan To Catch A Killer" Comes To Green Bay

www.wbay.com

A Tulsa woman is taking her mission to find her daughter's murderer to Green Bay. In a desperate search for answers, she launched a nation-wide tour called "Caravan To Catch a Killer."