breathe............

Trying to breath. Working towards 10th anniversary of Brittany's murder/burial, to be able to be able to afford the 12th CARAVAN TO CATCH A KILLER tour for anniversary & starting organizing my WALK WITH BRIT ON RT 666 TO DIMINISH RISK-a walk from Tulsa murder site to Capitol of Oklahoma to publicize need to pass Oklahoma's DNA at Arrest law after 6 years----but 1) Car is acting up-may be 2nd transmission,like last year's is dying--so may need new trans then 2) plumbers came today to find why upstairs tankless was not heating, why pipes in sinks back up from upstairs/downstairs toilets. RESULTS(a) tankless water heater may be wrong size,so might need new larger one--meaning rewiring-etc which warrenty might not cover (b) checking pipes, tried to find outside drain pipe--NOT.. If house doesn't have one, warrenty company won't let them rod pipes, and then they won't address problem so warrenty won't cover. This means if roots have blocked the pipe, I will have to pay for deconstruct and new system........really.......really....really

HUSH A BYE, I'LL TRY NOT TO CRY AS YOU SLEEP MY LITTLE BABY..............................

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<div class="fb-post" data-href="https://www.facebook.com/mom.missing.brittany/posts/10152615745199468" data-width="466"><div class="fb-xfbml-parse-ignore"><a href="https://www.facebook.com/mom.missing.brittany/posts/10152615745199468">Post</a> by <a href="https://www.facebook.com/mom.missing.brittany">Brittany Phillips</a>.</div></div>

My heart

I wish I understood...why my wrapped pink purple SUV, my travels, my daughter's story, my attempt to save other daughter's is turned away from by national news, even when it is stuck in front of their face. Again someone goes out of their way, selfless, with empassioned heart, amid their own story being told on an ID show, to try to get the producers to recognize our story... My heart fluttered that once agin, this time, direct contact might get our story told.. But so far, not even an intial co...ntact. My heart hurts. We hit the 10th anniversary of burying her on her 19th birthday on 10-4-04. Now after 7 years,( through the unbelievable gift of my wraps, from Fellers and Midwest Wraps), of criss-crossing the country across 48 states, pushing our story to at least 2-3 of each state passed through as part of the 100000 miles I have carved through on my CARAVAN TO CATCH A KILLER TOURs, almost always self funded in order to get 120 reporters to share her story in hopes of tips, warning communities about laws that put our women and children at risk.




But those cities do not match even 1/10000 of what national news would cover. I gladly put myself in debt each year but each year the story gets older, the car breaks down more and more. I've gladly spent the 60-80000 but in these later years, things like transmissions dying, house falling aprt, sale and buying of house troublesome it gets harder. I have no partner to assist, no funding from any source, so last summer on my 11th CARAVAN- $ 6000 to travel 13000 miles for only 6 stories for the 3 weeks of travel hurt me financially all right after my trans broke down. Earlier eyars I spent the same but got 10-16 stories.. And all these years, I have yet to hear of anyone else doing this for their murdered loved one....isn't that enough... Brittany needs her murder solved, people need to fully understand DNA

THIS MOTHER'S DAY

On Mothers Day remember the mothers, daughters, loved one lost because lawmakers in 23 states refuse to learn true facts about taking DNA at Arrest, blocking laws that would save lives. On this mothers Day remember how lawmakers in 23 use lies and distortions about DNA and privacy (the 14 pieces of evidence DNA don't hold genetic information which some of your hundred of thousands pieces of DNA may hold) to block DNA at Arrest laws. On Mother's Day remember that the main types of crimes that can't be solved without DNA are the violent ones of which 90% of the victims are women and 9% are children. On this mothers if you live in one of the 23 States where lawmakers keep block taking DNA at Arrest, that your lawmakers are saying it is more important to protect violent predators than women and children in your community and that you have no right to feel safe. Join Brittany's Brigade and ask your lawmakers IF THIS WAS YOUR DAUGHTER

How.................................

Post by Brittany Phillips.

9 years of loss and I walk on .................

At times my heart aches so badly, I feel as if I am folding in on myself. Other days you give me the energy to live life to the fullest. I know in my heart my purpose is to work in an area that would help save others lives. I know my work as a trauma therapist somehow translates to that but I just can't find that open door.....I know it is there. And I know if I could find it, I could carry your loss in an even stronger way......help me find that door. I have spent these nine years trying to stay main line, doing what I needed to pay bills and survive. I have lived through everything that tried to even make daily living hard...car break downs, abusive work place, seeking law change for 4 years and it being blocked, almost making national news and always losing out, slow CARAVAN TO CATCH A KILLER tours that had few stories but cost so much money (but fueled by love), Haven't I hit enough hard blocks to finally break through? Some days it hurts so hard and I get so tired on this solitary path, looking and not finding. I MISS YOU MY DANCING PONY PRINCESS

Post by Brittany Phillips.

9TH ANNIVERSARY WEEK 9/27 THRU 10/4....SOME DAYS I AM NOT AS STRONG............

It feels like everything is slipping out of my hands. Within the last year our lead detective retired, the next one was promoted out of the department, we have a greta one now but I rarely hear from him. It is the 9th anniversary week and even my car leaves me. It is in the shop because the replacement transmission is falling apart and it is 1000 miles away from it being out of warranty so I need to get it worked on even thought it was replaced this past July with 20000 miles on it when it was "pulled out" from another car. It had a 12 year or 12000 mile warranty-what does that tell you.
And even though the transmission keeps slipping no computer codes show there is a problem. Thousands have complained about this but Nissan Consumer department and they say the heads of Nissan refuse to fix anything unless the codes say it is not working----really after 1000 + have the same complaint??.
It breaks my heart to be without the wrapped CUBE on her birth/death anniversary. I want to go and get it. It is my life force. I know that now. It is how I connect Britty to the rest of the world. Below is a vent. I vent and get past. Some days it seems I won't get past this past year....

Post by Brittany Phillips.

9TH ANNIVERSARY OF BRITTANY PHILLIPS' MURDER 10-4-2013

Post by Brittany Phillips.

 

MY HEART IS TOUCHED AND FILLED WITH GRATITUDE FOR THE TWIN CITIES

Post by Brittany Phillips.

READ CONSUMER AFFAIRS STORY ABOUT CARAVAN--POST EVERYWHERE!! 1ST CVT TRANSMISSION DIED>>2ND BEGAN GOING BAD AFTER 2 WEEKS!! NISSAN WON'T HELP!

Post by Brittany Phillips.

I AM SORRY BRITTY...I THOUGHT OF THOSE WHO KNEW AND LOVED YOU, THAT MORE WOULD HELP.............

Post by Brittany Phillips.

THANK YOU GREEN BAY. You have been friendly all day and thank you WBAY for a great story!!!!! If you see me tomorrow tooling around town....Come up and say hi!!!!
Chicago Sunday

http://www.wbay.com/story/23305739/2013/08/30/caravan-to-catch-a-killer-comes-to-green-bay

"Caravan To Catch A Killer" Comes To Green Bay

www.wbay.com

A Tulsa woman is taking her mission to find her daughter's murderer to Green Bay. In a desperate search for answers, she launched a nation-wide tour called "Caravan To Catch a Killer."

THANK YOU FARGO AND WDAY!!!

Even before the story came on the News at 10 pm, people in Fargo have come up, expressed empathy, offered prayers, just gave a hug. These are the reasons I can keep on these CARAVANs and why I hate when they end. Across the US I have met so many kind people. Fargo is no exception and I am sorry South Dakota, but North Dakota has made me feel more at home since I was on the highway to and through Bismarck and then to Fargo, cruising around Broadway and Main in town today and the outer reaches of town, at the LaQuinta where I have stayed. I will be around town tomorrow before leaving for Duluth. Honk hug, wave. I will do so back.
This town has a place in my heart!!!

Driving forward with tears in eyes, exhausted, feeling a bit defeated. Please send fax, email, mail national news while I am on the road. Beg them to help share our story

My 1st story came quick in Neb Of course Car was in shop for half a day in Sioux Falls so not a lot of time to drive around! Been in Rapid City and went to Mt Rushmore. Reaction in City has been great but again no story. People have aasked me how I do my CARAVAN TO CATCH A KILLER torus. I thought I would post the process here. Each time I go out I usually work 8-10 hours a day on getting the story out. I usually get 13-16 stories a CARAVAN.


The day before I get to a city (usually my last day at the previous city) I developed a pattern of going to TV station, newspaper and radio websites, reading about the reporters, producers, specific reporters/ media who report on things like our story or something in bio gives me a hook to use-- that is usually 3+ hrs of writing. Like on my drive to Rapid City, I stopped at every rest stop and a number of small towns. After I arrive in a city, if no one has contacted me, I usually send out more to Editors Anchors News Directors ,etc. In every city, even before I get a story, sometimes if or as part of story,I go to the Police station, sherrifs, State police, sometimes the chamber, victim advocates, I drive around the city and park in public places--at least 4-5 hrs exposure. I was all over Sioux Falls and even went to Mt Rushmore. I get great responses along the highway, in town, at these sites. For two years having more than a year inbetween without Britty's story being out there, decreases the probability that it is heard by someone who knows something. I have been asking for help from facebook friends to at least send emails, fax to National news because if the CARAVAN dies all the years of getting her story out on my own will die also. I guess I am begging for help On the road, at hotels, even this time people say they have never seen something like my SUV before and they are surprised NAtional news has not picked it up. My CARAVANs get may 1/10000 of the people that national news does. AND if National even considers it, they will only do that if I am on the road. I will only be out for about 2 more weeks If you email me I can send you an email you can tweek. You can snail mail or fax. It won't cost you money, very little time. email me at therapoet@aol.com. Or you can post this to all your friends, get some of them. If not the email then even an onslaught of "why are you not doing a story on the CARAVAN" If not for me, then for Britty. I week and 1 story. I am feeling a bit discouraged. I guess I am packing the car and heading to Fargo..I don't mind this solitary journey....when it is working...................................

Handing it over

Am trying to hand it over. WHat will be will be . Sitting in a very friendly Nissan dealership in Sioux Falls SD. Have had alot of recognition in the city but no media responses yet. Of cpourse could be in shop over weekend which would kill me, spending money on hotel and unable to get exosure to the story. Part of me is angry, Yes angry. I really don't ask for alot. EVen cut CARAVAN TO CATCH A KILLER tours down to once a year. And now this. I don't ask for money and do most of this on my own funds, often going into debt. But thatis always OK when we are getting the story out and helping to save other lives. But god I haven't been out even a whole week and now the cost of hotels and this with the car feels so unfair. I know it isn't about being fair. It is just happens but this has affected so much.... and all that the transmission affected prior to the CARAVAN, as many know, I came to accept--that the cost of the transmission ate up the money I was to use for getting a place nearer to the new job so I wouldn't have to commute 4 hours a day,then when my son's car was totaled by someone who t-boned him, the cost of the transmission took away my ability to help him if he has to get a new car and it took away money from the CARAVAN. But I decided to find a way to fund it. Now that I am on it and not even a full week out my car is in the shop and I will soon find whether I can even drive it any more. Really.......god I am tired