TEARS ACROSS MILES

It has killed me to wait a full year to do another CARAVAN TO CATCH A KILLER tour. But I will be leaving in about 2 weeks if not sooner. What has made it finally happen is that SOME PEOPLE VERY CLOSE TO MY HEART (both genetically and emotionally!!! ), WHO HAVE ALWAYS BEEN THERE YEAR AFTER YEAR AFTER YEAR WITH UNBELIEVABLE WORDS OF SUPPORT AND HOPE seemed to get it in their head they were not doing enough and sent a truly generous donation. I am not good at asking for help. So yes you Jane, family and friends, who sent This gift to fill the tank a number of times!!! remain close to my heart, even without the gift. I know you have always known this. I hope to be out at least 4 weeks and this makes it possible. As for the direction of the CARAVAN I asked people for ideas of where I should stop. I think there is an older post with all the cities we have had stories in (108 reporters across 46 states and about 86 cities. Please!!! Any feedback for where people want us to stop will be welcomed even if I have to zig and zag. You can email at therapoet@aol.com. I always have a semi plan but go where I am drawn. As noted I must visit Minnesota, N and S Dakota (only states with no stories,) Also I mentioned that I am going to try to do a travelogue/video of this CARAVAN. I fear this may be the last........

ASK YOUR LAWMAKERS--WHAT IF THIS WAS YOUR DAUGHTER! VOTING AGAINST DNA AT ARREST INCREASES CHANCES IT WILL BE

The Maryland v. King decision was released; the Supreme Court overturn the Mar Mariposayland Court of Appeals; ******holding that DNA collection from Arrestees WAS!!! IS!!! constitutional.****** THESE ARE THREE EXAMPLES EMAIL ME AT THERAPOET@AOL.COM FOR THE COMPLETE STUDIES FROM CHICAGO, MARYLAND, INDIANA AND DENVER
Requiring DNA for felony arrests (at arrest) does solve and prevent violent crimes. Waiting for conviction costs lives. Study by the City of Chicago, and presented to the State Legislature in 2005 ****************Chicago’s Study on Preventable Crimes******* This study show how !!!60 violent crimes could have been prevented, including 53 murders and rapes!!!! if these 8 men had had DNA taken at one of their arrests Most states require DNA collection upon felony conviction, but review of criminal records shows offenders often have**numerous felony arrests before conviction** CHICAGO IS JUST ONE EXAMPLE. I WILL SEND YOU MORE.
Chicago’s examination of criminal activities of*** eight individuals identified 60 violent crimes, that, if DNA had been taken at arrest--“the fingerprint of the 21st century” could have been prevented. In each case, the offender committed previously ***undetected violent crimes**** that ***would have been solved through a DNA match***. But DNA was not required at arrest. INSTEAD… • 22 murders – victims ranging from 24 to 44 years of age • 30 rapes – victims ranging from 15 to 65 years of age • Attempted rapes • Aggravated kidnapping
The 8 men with almost ALL FEMALE VICTIMS FROM ALL WALKS OF LIFE accumulated a total of 21 felony arrests before finally being identified. Only seven of the prior felony arrests were for violent crimes – the remaining two-thirds of arrests were for non-violent felonies. They were free to commit--60 violent crimes, including 53 murders and rapes, that could have been prevented.
Chicago Preventable Crimes. (BELOW ARE JUST TWO OF THE 8 EXAMPLES FROM CHICAGO STUDY. THERE ARE VIRGIANIA, INDIANA AND DENVER STUDIES Andre Crawford was charged with eleven murders and one attempted murder/aggravated sexual assault. If the state had required him to give a DNA sample during his felony arrest on March 6, 1993, a DNA match could have been obtained with the DNA evidence recovered from his first murder. Ten murders could have been prevented. If Crawford’s DNA had been taken on March 6, 1993 after he was arrested for attempted sexual abuse (felony),the subsequent 10 murders and one rape would not have happened.
03/1993 He was arrested for felony theft NO DNA taken
09/1993 1st murder, DNA evidence recovered from crime scene-no identification of perpetrator
12/1994 - 04/1995 2 women murdered
05/1995-- 07/1997 arrested for Felony attempted sexual abuse 1 victim// Women murdered// woman raped
1997-1999 7 women murdered
01/1998 Arrested for felony drug possession***** ____________________________
Brandon Harris was convicted of five aggravated criminal sexual assaults and one aggravated kidnapping/attempted rape.If the state had required him to give a DNA sample during his felony arrest on August 25, 2000, a DNA match could have been obtained with the DNA evidence recovered from his first rape. Four rapes and one attempted rape/armed robbery/aggravated kidnapping could have been prevented.
12/1999 1st rape, DNA evidence recovered
08/2000 - 10/2000 Arrest for sexual assault
11/2000 1 woman raped, 1 woman kidnapped
12/2000 Arrest for robbery, while home confined, another rape occurs
02/2001 1 women raped,1 girl raped
05/2001 Girl raped ____________________________________________
Geoffrey Griffin was charged with eight murders and one aggravated criminal sexual assault. If the state had required him to give a DNA sample during his felony arrest on August 26, 1995, a DNA match could have been obtained with the DNA evidence recovered from his first rape. Eight murders, one rape and one attempted rape could have been prevented. If Griffin’s DNA had been taken on August 26, 1995 after he was arrested for possession of a controlled substance (felony), the subsequent eight murders, one rape and one attempted rape would not have happened.
08/1995 Arrest for drug possession
07/1998 Woman raped & killed, DNA evidence recovered
07/1998 - 05/2000 4 women murdered, 1 woman raped
06/2000 Woman attacked
06/2000 4 women murdered
06/2000 Arrested & charged with 8 murders, 1 sexual assault ___________________________________ THESE ARE THREE EXAMPLES EMAIL ME AT THERAPOET@AOL.COM FOR THE COMPLETE STUDIES FROM CHICAGO, MARYLAND, INDIANA AND DENVER THIS IS NOT OKAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE SHARE
http://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/supreme-court-upholds-maryland-law-says-police-may-take-dna-samples-from-arrestees/2013/06/03/0b619ade-cc5a-11e2-8845-d970ccb04497_story.html

AN UNBELIEVABLE STORY BY CHANNEL 8 ABC TULSA

KTUL.com - Tulsa, Oklahoma - News, Weather

MILES OF MOTHERS' TEARS

I've posted this a few times, hoping another mother of loss & love will read. Now as day has met most, I again wish Happy Mother's Day to all mothers of murdered/abducted/missing children I've met on my CARAVAN TO CATCH A KILLER tours, to those not met. You firmly hug the esssence of your child, as you carry your loss & the loss of them never being mothers,fathers in this world. I send hugs, prayers to mothers of murdered, missing & abducted; MOMMA, with special care to those walking alone as they live in honor of their child. My love, prayers, offers of help go to all living with such losses with my hands reaching farther to single moms or those with partner who can’t fund a search for answers or who place their daily survival to make ends meet as monument to the memory..of course they are the greatest monument.. My love, hope, prayers, offers of help go to those often walk a solitary path but refuse to stop.We did not choose this path, this family built from losses, but we are a family stronger than most. On this mother’s day, I applaud each of you who have taken motherhood to its highest dimension….that of of continuing love....my love, admiration to you Maggie-mom of Brittany Phillips 10-4-85 to 10-4-04

VOICES ACROSS TEARS

Happy Mother's Day to all mothers I've met across the US, to those not yet met. You firmly hug the esssence of your murdered child, even as you feel the loss & the loss of them never being mothers,fathers in this world. I send hugs, prayers to all, especially in US cities, where they live in honor of their child but do so in isolation. My love, prayers,offers of help go to all. My hands reaches farther to those who may be a single mom or who, even with partner,can't fund searching for answers or paying homage, can only struggle to pay bills. My love, hope, prayers, offers of help go to those who walk a solitary path but refuse to stop. We did not choose this path or this family built from losses, but it is family strong as any. On this mother’s day, I applaud all of you who have taken motherhood to its highest dimension…that of continueing love-Maggie in honor of Brittany Phillips 10-4-85 to 10-4-04

In the last few days we have had more than 900 views. This can only be the searching for justice story. It has to be the impact of Jon Lieberman's work

Brittany Phillips Murder

Brittany Phillips Murder

IF YOU CARE ABOUT LOVED ONES, ABOUT OKLAHOMANS, READ ALL OF THIS!

                                      DNA AT ARREST PROTECTS & SAVES LIVES!

MAKE SB618 OKLAHOMA’S DNA AT ARREST LAW

               DECIDE FROM FACTS, NOT FALSE FEARS.

  

DNA IS PRIMARILY NEEDED TO SOLVE VIOLENT CRIMES, OF WHICH

90% OF VICTIMS ARE WOMEN, 9% CHILDREN! 

   

IN 2012, AFTER BEING ARRESTED IN COLORADO, ROBERT BRUCE’S DNA, MATCHED TO DNA FOUND AT 19 VICTIMS’ CRIME SCENES IN CLEVELAND COUNTY, OK AND 6 IN EDMOND (CRIMES FROM 1986 TO 2006)

 

 

BRITTANY PHILLIPS, MY BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER,

MIGHT NOT HAVE BEEN MURDERED (A PREVENTABLE CRIME)

IF OKLAHOMA TOOK DNA AT ARREST DURING HER LIFE!

10-4-85 TO 10-4-04

    2000 SUSPECTS ' DNA HAVE  BEEN COMPARED TO HER KILLER’S DNA  

LEFT AT CRIME SCENE!

NONE HAVE MATCHED!

 

***PREVENTABLES CRIMES-A VIOLENT OFFENDER IS ARRESTED NUMEROUS TIMES, FOR MINOR CRIMES BUT BECAUSE DNA IS NOT TAKEN AT ARREST, NEVER HAS THEIR DNA COMPARED TO UNSOLVED/COLD CASES

 UNTIL AND ONLY IF THE PERSON GETS CONVICTED,

USUALLY AFTER 10-20 YEARS OF DOING CRIMES***.

THIS IS SHOWS WHAT IS SENT TO CODIS

NUMBERS, NOT THE PHYSICAL DNA SAMPLE

        Lab XYZ       (these letters represent the state lab’s code)

       0012152  (this is a Code for the case number-NAME OF THE PERSON IS NOT SENT        06,09,11,12,10,10,22,24,9.3,10,08,09 These 2 lines are the codes representing the 14

      14,14,15,17,17,22,25,12,12,9,10,09,13   pieces analyzed (from the thousands a person has)

      kzzz- (This code represents the specific analyst who did the work)

      These “profiles” (not the sample) are uploaded to CODIS, our national DNA database.

***COURTS CAN’T CONVICT BY ONLY DNA—DNA IS AN INVESTIGATIVE TOOL-OTHER STRONG, ADDITIVE EVIDENCE MUST PROVE GUILT***

 

******DNA AT ARREST LESSENS NUMBER OF REPEAT OFFENDERS BY IDENTIFYING CRIMINALS EARLY IN THEIR CAREERS! ***DNA AT ARREST LOWERS NUMBER OF COLD/UNSOLVED CRIMES, AS A SUSPECT’S DNA SAMPLE IS TAKEN AND MATCHES TO DNA FROM A CRIME SCENE BECAUSE RAPIST, OTHER VIOLENT OFFENDERS OFTEN GET ARRESTED FOR 10-20 YEARS BEFORE CONVICTION.

******DNA AT ARREST LOWERS POLICE COSTS BY FEWER HOURS ON CASES.

 

26 STATES HAVE PASSED DNA AT ARREST LAWS Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, California, Colorado, Illinois, Florida, Kansas, Louisiana, Maryland, Michigan, Minnesota, Missouri, New Jersey, New Mexico, North Carolina, North Dakota, Ohio, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Virginia, Vermont

 

  ***MANY COURTS RULED DNA IS NO DIFFFERENT THAN FINGERPRINTS***

1) The purpose is akin to that of a fingerprint". State v. Raines 857 A.2d 19, 33 (Md. 2004) FOR Anderson v. Com, Virginia Supreme Court, No. 062051, 9/14/07, FOR

2) US v. Mitchell, US Court of Appeals 3rd Circuit, No. 09-4718, July 25, 2011, FOR

3) Haskell v. Brown,US District Court for Northern District of California,12/23/09, FOR

4)U.S. v. Thomas, US District Court of Western District of New York, 2/14/11, FOR

5)People v. Buza, California Court of Appeals, First District, A125542, 8/4/11,

 FOR MORE CASES ON MITCH MORRISEY, DENVER’S DA’S WEBSITE, LISTED BELOW

 

***IF YOU WANT TO MAKE AN EDUCATED DECISION-READ THESE*** http://www.dfs.virginia.gov/statistics/index.cfm 8399 HITS SINCE 1998 http://www.goccp.maryland.gov/dna/statistics.php www.sccvc.org/.../Chicagos_Study_on_Preventable_Crimes03-04-2008.pdf(chicago)

 

INFORMATIVE WEBSITES

www.DNAsaves.org

www.denverda.org/DNA/DNA_INDEX.htm

www.brittanyphillipsmurder.net

CONTACT: BRITTANY’S MOTHER Dr. Maggie Zingman 9186292317 therapoet@aol.comtherapoet@aol.com

Through the undying efforts of Senator Jolley, Oklahoma's DNA at Arrest Bill SB618 was finally heard in the Public Safety Committee and passed through Committee with a 5/0 vote. Of course the ACLU and opponents started spout myths such as "Now Oklahoma will creqate a data base of innocent people's DNA' That statement by the ACLU shows either no understanding of the process of obtaining and cataloguing DNA or it is the ACLU depending on people not questioning what they say. In other words the ACLU thinks people are not smart enough to question the myths they state.


PLEASE READ OUR "CHANCES ARE YOU WON'T FEAR DNA AT ARREST AFTER READING THIS"  VISIT OUR DNA PAGES OR www.DNAsaves.org or   http://www.denverda.org/DNA/DNA_INDEX.htm  for every fact you want to know.


 I have spent 6 of the 8.5 years since my daughter's murder, Brittany Phillips (murdered Tulsa 10/4/04) travelling 67000 miles across 46 states on my CARAVAN TO CATCH A KILLER tours. Most people I talked to didn't understand the DNA process (neither did I once) yet after the news stories, or even after I talked to people on the road, they were going "so why aren't we using it???" when I explained  how only part of the DNA is used, how these peices don't hold genetic codes, how there are safety factors built into the process, how it can't be used to falsely accuse, etc (BTW the ACLU is behind DNA being used to free the innocent but not to protect women and children -with the primary crimes needing DNA to be solved are the violent ones where 90% of the victims are women and 9 % are children). Please email me with your questions, help us educate the community so they can make their own decisions about whether taking DNA invades their privacy  or whether it actually protects it by getting killers off the street early in their carreers not 20 years after killing people. The first year we tried this law in the house Sen. Jolley bloacked it in the senate but then educated himself on it and is now one of its strongest supporters

CHANCES ARE YOU WON'T FEAR DNA AT ARREST IF YOU READ THIS!!

DNA AT ARREST SAVES LIVES, DOESN'T HURT LIVES

 

DNA WAS DESIGNED TO ONLY USE 14 PIECES OF THE THOUSANDS  UPON THOUSANDS OF PIECES OF DNA EACH PERSON HAS
 ONES THAT DONT HOLD GENETIC SECRETS!

          READ ABOUT DNA, DON'T JUST TAKE WHAT I OR SOMEONE TELLS YOU--RESEARCH IT! DO SEARCHES FOR SCIENTIFIC STUDIES ON FORENSIC DNA,

 READ TRUE, SCIENCE-BASED ARTICLES

ABOUT HOW SCIENTISTS DESIGNING THE DNA

 PROCESS OF SOLVING CRIMES,

DEVELPOPED WAYS TO MAKE IT ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE

 FOR ANYONE BUT LAB PEOPLE

TO EVER HAVE ACCESS TO THE DNA SAMPLE,

HOW THEY CHOSE PIECES OF DNA THAT WERE EMPTY (NO GENETIC INFO).

 THE ONLY DANGER

OF NOT TAKING DNA AT ARREST,

IS THAT THERE WILL BE INCREASED CHANCES THAT

YOU TOO WILL KNOW SOMEONE,

WHO, LIKE MY DAUGHTER,

WOULD BE ALIVE OR UNHURT

 IF DNA WAS TAKEN AT ARREST FROM THE PERSON WHO ATTACKED THEM.

IN ADDITION,DNA AT ARREST

LOWERS THE NUMBER OF COLD/UNSOLVED CRIMES.

 LOWERS THE NUMBER OF REPEAT OFFENDERS

LOWERS POLICE DEPARTMENT COSTS.

26 STATES HAVE PASSED SOME FORM OF DNA AT ARREST LAWS

Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, California,

Colorado, Illinois, Florida, Kansas, Louisiana, Maryland, Michigan, Minnesota, Missouri,

New Jersey, New Mexico, North Carolina, North Dakota, Ohio, South Carolina, South

Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Virginia, Vermont
(PARDON STILL TRYING TO EDIT BLOG)

STATE // YEAR OF LAW PASSAGE// NUMBER OF HITS// REPORTED HITS 2010
1)Tennessee                           Started in 2007.              115 HITS on unidentified DNA  

2) New Mexico                       Started  2007                  160 HITS      on unidentified DNA 

3) Maryland                            Started  2011                  174 HITS    on unidentified DNA 

4) Virginia                              Started 2003                     483HITS DFS    on unidentified DNA 

5) Ohio                                    Started 2011                    132 HITS OBIon unidentified DNA 

*DNA taken the 1st time someone is arrested for a Felony Offense allows their DNA to be in a database. Then, if and only if, they leave DNA at their next crime scene, we can identify the guilty party relatively quickly.With violent offenders, this stops them at a low number of victims.

* DNA taken at conviction and then put into the DNA database is more about solving old crimes rather than stopping new ones. Violent offenders, when finally convicted, and their DNA is put into a national database are matched to multiple cold and unsolved crimes from 5-20 years in the past, where that DNA sat years without a match and the vioent offender kept on doing violence. THESE CRIMES COULD HAVE BEEN PREVENTED IF DNA HAD BEEN TAKEN THE FIRST TIME THEY WERE ARRESTED.

The DNA Profile: YOUR PHYSICAL DNA IS NOT SENT TO THE NATIONAL DATABASE

A FORM WITH CODED NUMBERS IS SENT TO CODIS THE NATIONAL DATABASE--NOT YOUR HYSICAL DNA

JUST LIKE THE EXAMPLE BELOW----Lab XYZ
0012152 (case number)
06,09,11,12,10,10,22,24,9.3,10,08,09, (2 lines represent loci/factors specific to your DNA)
14,14,15,17,17,22,25,12,12,9,10,09,13
kzzz-The Analyst’s initials

The DNA profile is uploaded into CODIS, our national DNA database, without even a
name attached to it, only a case ID number, the lab’s name, and the analyst’s initials.

IT IS NOT YOUR TOTAL DNA SAMPLE THAT IS USED BY LAW ENFORCEMENT
Regions of DNA that are used for forensic analysis are usually not genes, but rather are located in those parts of the chromosomes without known functions, or if part of a gene, not in the part that produces a detectable effect (MEANING IT DOES NOT INCLUDE DNA LOCI THAT WOULD SAY YOU ARE PRONE TO DISEASES OR MENTAL ILLNESS OR EVEN TALL, SHORT, ETC- This was a primary reason for this choice has been to protect individual privacy.)(This means that these sections of the DNA do not carry the genetic codes. When a match occurs between an offender and DNA evidence collected from a crime, the law enforcement agency is notified and then, with a judge’s order, another DNA sample is taken from the identified suspect to verify the match. It is a big piece of the puzzle that can set law enforcement on the right track.

Law enforcement now has to build their case and find other evidence and witnesses. They have to determine if the suspect was even in the area of the crime. The suspect is still innocent, until proven guilty. Only a jury determines “guilty” Keep in mind that less than 6 % of our population is ever arrested for a felony. A DNA profile only identifies the suspect. People can change their
names, their appearance, even their sex. Their DNA is unique and does not change.

**Criminals tend to be repeat offenders, but don’t always get convicted, having their DNA
at Arrest increases the chances of conviction. Each conviction prevents and average of 7 to 8 future crimes.
* Kristine Crouch, Indiana CODIS Administrator of the Indiana State Police-- biological
crime scene evidence uploaded to CODIS leads to 40% of those searches yield a matching suspect. DNA at Arrest would increase the number of "Known Persons" in a DNA database thus increaseing matches National Institute of Justice to five communities (Los Angeles, Topeka, Denver, Phoenix and California's Orange County) to study the effectiveness of DNA forensics in
the investigation of property crimes. The project called The DNA Field Experiment: Cost-Effectiveness

Analysis of the Use of DNA in the Investigation of High-Volume Crimes highlighted the importance of testing the DNA profile found at burglary scene because one burglar often commits many burglaries before being caught. A summary of the study can be found at Burglars Go Bust: The DNA Field

Experiment

In November 2005, with NIJ funding, the Denver Burglary Project was started. Two years
into the project, nearly 100 prolific burglars were caught and convicted. As a result of the 100 convictions, the burglary rate in Denver dropped 26%

4TH AMENDMENT RIGHTS ARE NOT VIOLATED!!

**August 26, 2004, the appellate court overturned the lower court and ruled that the DNA Collection Act does not violate the Fourth Amendment. The court's opinion included: "The DNA
profile thus serves the purpose of increasing the efficiency and accuracy in identifying individuals within a certain class of convicted criminals. The purpose is akin to that of a fingerprint". State v. Raines 857 A.2d 19, 33 (Md. 2004).

PLEASE READ ALL THESE COURT CASES. LEARN WHY COURTS HAVE DECIDED THAT …..
DNA AT ARREST IS NOT A VIOLATION OF THE FOURTH AMENDMENT!!!
COURT CASES

READ ALL THE OTHER COURT RULINGS ON FEB'S BLOwww.facebook.com/mom.missing.brittany

BREATHE A LITTLE BREATH OF LIFE IN HONOR OF BRITTANY PHILLIPS...MY DANCING PONY PRINCESS

 

 

 

THE COMING OF A NEW YEAR 2013-TOUCH THE LIFE OF A SURVIVING FAMILY OF HOMICIDE!!

Between now and New Years, if you have read our story, feel our loss, want to do something to help, want to connect, whatever led you to us, whatever had an impact on you, we are glad you are here.

You can never imagine how much it means for surviving families of homicide to know their story touches people. 

If you are so moved, make a committment for 2013 to touch someone who may really need it. We will even give you some ideas. Even if you came here in your searches about the Sandy Hook disaster and families losing loved ones to murder, there are ways you can help them but even more so all the other thousands of survivng homicide families.

Brittany was buried on her 19th birthday 10/4/04 after being raped and suffocated in her 2nd story apartmen right next to the highschool she graduated from. This year she would have been 27.

Pledg to yourself  and to someone else to help make the world safer. There are so many small chnages that can have a great impact.... from getting your neighborhood to all turn on porchlites to writing a lawmaker about needed law change, check with your local police to learn about families of unsolved or solved homicides or abductions. Help them create an event to educate about the risk of others losing loved ones if there are weaknesses in laws for those caught for those crimes help us chnage the sexual assualt and DNA laws....

Impact the world as you step into 2013. Please remember there are many families that are still living the horror of losing a loved one to homicide, a singular one not a mass shooting. Both are such terrible losses but so mnay of these solitary homicides impact families in isolation. As I have travelled 67000 miles across the country on my CARAVAN TO CATCH A KILLER tours, I have met many of these families who live the path of loss in solitary echoes. Yet their horror needs the same supportas the Sandy Hook families do, but often do not get it because their losses are not as publicized (which draws attention to what has happened.

BRITTANY WAS TAKEN FROM US BUT WE CONTNUE TO BREATH FOR HER. WE CAN ALL BREATH THE WORLD INTO SAFER LIVING THROUGH EACH LITTLE STEP WE TAKE.  Touch someone in your community who has experienced such a loss, help us chnage the laws to DNA at Arrest, help us with the next CARAVAN TO CATHC A KILLER  tour. Breathe a little breath for Brittany!

IF YOU HAVE BEEN TOUCHED BY THE SANDY HOOK TRAGEDY

Soon after the Sandy Hook tragedy, many are discussing the unexpressed fear a parent, family member; the fear of the impact of experiencing such a senseless loss. Many express new motivation to take action, to do something that will make a difference; that will help these families, others, or even themselves.

YOU CAN DO. SOMETHING 

In 2009 15,399 died from murder or negligent homicide, in 2010 14,748 people. 1 -2% of the victims through mass killings (3-4 or more victims). Survivors of all murder/homicide/ missing will walk their lives in a different manner from the 1^st day of the loss, on. Others reaching out to help them carry the grief does make a difference. It warms my heart watching the outpouring of people across the world towards the Sandy Hook community.

 Yet on my CARAVAN TO CATCH A KILLER tours, I meet thousands of people who lost a loved one to murder/abduction. 50 to 70% of the time, I am one of just a few people who have reached towards them. These people walk an often-solitary path with little community support. Many didn’t receive an out pouring care/concern because their murder had little news coverage. Many shed tears in silence.

 YOU CAN DO SOMETHING! In a group of 10 people, at least one will know a murder/abduction survivor. During these 2012 holidays touched by national grieving, send care and concern to the Sandy Hook community. Also, reach out to those in your community WHO LOST SOMEONE TO MURDER/ABDUCTION, WHO MAY WALK PATHS OF LOSS ALONE. LET THEM KNOW YOU CARE.

FINDING MY BREATH IN ORDER TO KEEP ON

(more added most likely)

I just spent the last hour trying to get my computer to operate right. It still won't work without hiccups! Of course it decides to malfunction right after I decided to come to our website, and pledge to myself and Brittany that I will recharge, regroup, find some way finacially and emotionally to continue. I didn't want to do this"in public" on facebook (not wanting to look as if begging for support).  Here, some may find this blog, this specific one,  by chance, but it may also not be seen for days. Thus I feel good knowing I am not just speaking for an audience. I know I have to do this to get myself back on track on my ongoing mission of love and empathy to find Brittany's killer and to help protect other families from such devastating loss. I have to find some way to get back on track after such an emotional loss with our MILES OF TEARS POKER RUN as well as its' financial loss.

I am used to finacial losses, have learned to ride with them especially after Brittany's murder, especially because almost all of the 67000 miles of the 10 CARAVAN TO CATCH A KILLER tours were self funded. I have learned to roll with loss as each of my 3 other fund raising events over the last 4 years, have been hit with a car breakdown with its subsequent car rental, a disrupted ability to publicize, thus small turnouts, all which destroyed any fund raising. I have learned to live without a washer,a dryer, a hot water heater that stays working. I have learned to live without repairs to my house unless I can do it. In return I have been able to travel cross country telling Brittany's story, trying to save lives. And I am okay with this.

But my selfish mind begs "Why...what else do I have to experience after Brittany's murder...haven't I paid my dues?"

I would have been okay with a small turnout. I knew our MILES OF TEARS Poker Run, only in its 1st year, would probably not have a large crowd, probably wouldn't even make back the $500 or so I put into getting the word out, good prizes and treats.  BUT EVEN A SMALL CROWD, BY WORD OF MOUTH COULD  HELP BUILD THE REPUTATION OF WHAT THE RIDE COULD OFFER. We had great prizes, great raffle items and a small crowd would have lucked out with all the prize material.

What has been confusing to everyone who saw how much promotion we did, is that after 2 months of publicity--posters on the back of the car, posters and flyers at bike shops, gas stations, biker bars, news stories, etc; after great responses from people I met, Christine met, to have NO ONE SHOW WAS DEVASTATING.

It hurt my heart because it felt like after 8 years no one cared about Brittany story. It hurt my heart because it would limit my ability to go on a CARAVAN  in January.

ALL I CAN SAY RIGHT NOW IS I AM TRYING TO FIND A WAY BACK. THE HARDEST THING FOR ME TO ACCEPT IS THAT I REALLY DO SO MUCH OF THIS ALONE. THERE ARE A FEW LOYAL SUPPORTERS. I WOULD DIE WITHOUT THEM.  I CAN'T EXPECT OTHERS TO BE INVOLVED 24/7 BUT AFTER THE POKER RUN WEEKEND IT FELT LIKE ONLY OUR SMALL CIRCLE OF VOLUNTEERS WERE THE ONES WHO CARED-and all of them were related to Christine Badgwell, my friend and originator of the poker run idea.

I JUST WANT TO UNDERSTAND HOW THE FACE ABOVE DOEES NOT DRAW PEOPLE IN. WHAT AM I DOING TO TAKE AWAY FROM A FACE THAT WOULD BREAK YOUR HEART?

I HAVE LEARNED TO DO SO MUCH OF THIS ALONE BUT TIMES LIKE THE PAST WEEKEND OF HER ANNIVERSARY AND POKER RUN REALLY MAKE ME MISS NOT AT LEAST HAVING SOME ARMS TO CURL INTO AND SAY...."PLEASE TAKE OVER JUST FOR A FEW MOMENTS"

I am sorry Britty. 8 years with a marker like this have knocked the wind out. I will get my breath back soon.

BRITTANY'S BREATH

Between now, this eve of the 24hrs within which Brittany was murdered until her birthday/burial day 10/4/04 make a pledge to yourself and also someone else to do something that helps the world be a little safer.... from getting your neighborhood to all turn on porchlites to writing a lawmaker about needed law change in sexual assualt and DNA laws....Impact the world through this week (9/27 --10/4) BRITTANY'S BREATH Brittany's life was taken but we breathe her and a safer world into existence through the little steps we take with each breath!

SOS SOS OCTOBER 6 MILES OF TEARS POKER RUN NEEDS YOUR HELP

SOS SOS SOS We thought we had a venue at the end of the Oct 6 Miles of Tears Poker Run but it has fallen through. We are still hoping for the band (s) but we are in need of a space----a filed, parking lot, stage, park, even a yard, somewhere that (hopefully) motorcycles and cars can park. We are still looking for volunteers to help with registration, card stops (for poker hand) and at the end for raffle food etc. Looking for more food donations or money to help with food costs. IF YOU KNEW BRITTANY OR HEARD OUR STORY OR WITH THE PASSING OF THE DAY OF REMEMBERANCE FOR HOMICIDE VICTIMS, THIS IS A CHNACE TO HELP. IF NOTHING ELSE DONATE YOUR TIME BY HELPING DAY OF EVENT OR HELPING US PULL THIS TOGETHER Contact me Maggie at 918 629-2317 or therapoet@aol.com
  We do have paypal on this website
You can also visit www.facebook.com/mom.missing.brittany