I try to do this on my own even when I go into debt for a year after returning from my CARAVAN TO CATCH A KILLER tours-(5 years 11 tours-> 68000 miles thru 46 States. $5.00 will pay for a gallon of gas--30 miles down the road. Help us find Brittany's killer. Please help us to be able to teach people about laws that put our loved ones at risk. WHAT IF THIS WAS YOUR DAUGHTER?

Saturday, July 13, 2013


Survived this past Tuesday,in 100 degree heat, after car broke down on highway and I waited 2 hrs for towing---as all sped by at 80mph. Survived last 4 days stuck at house with 106 degree heat making it hard to walk anywhere, survived finding out my CVT Nissan Transmission is gone, must be prob $3500+. I'll survive not getting a car rental for a week cause too damn expensive. I have accepted the path after Britty's murder is done w/o someone in my life and that I don't have nor can seem to raise money for a foundation in her name.

What is hardest to take is that what little I can afford to do for Britty, often right before I do it (like a fund raiser event, another CARAVAN) something big like having to replace a transmission on a relatively young car that has a CVT transmission which is just starting to show problems in cars that are older than 2-3 years, occurs and puts me so in debt that the one little thing I am able to do in honor of her, gets affected.

So it is hard to accept that the 11th (prob last) CARAVAN (using what little money I have) is now being impacted by the transmission expense and having not been done in over a year, now because of this cost, may not be able to do for another year.

CARAVANs are not just for Brittany. They are also for me. It is the one time a year I focus on Britty's murder mystery, share facts across US ; the only time it really gets national. I get so many emotional gifts from people while on the road, that it makes coming back to things like the job I have had since her murder easier. Things have been done at work that people say I should sue about but I can't waste energy on that. I have a new job that I will hopefully be going to yet vicious attacks made in secret by a few very sick people who work in the Mental health field have taken their toll as I clear my name each time they do these secret attempts.  I just need to be back on the road a bit to remind me of the general kindness of people.

 It hurts my heart each time I think of now having to wait another year--will make 2 years to do a CARAVAN...I am her voice...Those who know our history know how hard I fight and also how hard things seem to keep hitting... Don't know.. it makes it hard, for a bit, to breathe. ... Of course I will get past it...because I can't change what is. But I try so hard to pay it forward, to do things for others, to do this mostly on my own funding. And it seems (even though I know it is just bad timing) that each time I really need something like being able to do the CARAVAN, then I get hit with something so big like a transmission breakdown that I can do nothing but roll with the punches.  I am tired but I won't give up. I know I just have to accept this solitary road (having sat home 4 days and even after asking for help to get out a bit or to a store (in small country town not near transportation) , there has been little assistance. I am a kind person who rarely asks for help so not sure what keeps people away

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