At times my heart aches so badly, I feel as if I am folding in on myself. Other days you give me the energy to live life to the fullest. I know in my heart my purpose is to work in an area that would help save others lives. I know my work as a trauma therapist somehow translates to that but I just can't find that open door.....I know it is there. And I know if I could find it, I could carry your loss in an even stronger way......help me find that door. I have spent these nine years trying to stay main line, doing what I needed to pay bills and survive. I have lived through everything that tried to even make daily living hard...car break downs, abusive work place, seeking law change for 4 years and it being blocked, almost making national news and always losing out, slow CARAVAN TO CATCH A KILLER tours that had few stories but cost so much money (but fueled by love), Haven't I hit enough hard blocks to finally break through? Some days it hurts so hard and I get so tired on this solitary path, looking and not finding. I MISS YOU MY DANCING PONY PRINCESS
