Saturday, July 13, 2013

Survived Tuesday,in 100 degree heat, after car broke down on highway and I waited 2 hrs for towing---as all sped by at 80mph. Survived last 2 days stuck at house with 106 degree heat making it hard to walk anywhere, survived finding out my CVT Nissan Transmission is gone, must be prob $3500+. I'll survive not getting a car rental for a week cause too damn expensive. I have accepted the path after Britty's murder is done w/o someone in my life and that I don't have nor can seem to raise money for a foundation in her name but what is hardest to take is that what little I can afford to do for Britty (and also for myself because my CARAVANS are how I live reg life the rest of the year ) so it is hard to accept that the 11th (prob last) CARAVAN (using what little money I have) is now being impacted by the transmission expense. This is the one time a year I focus on Brittys murder mystery, share facts across US ; the only time it really gets national. It hurts my heart each time I think of this...I am her voice...Those who know our history know how hard I fight and also how hard things seem to keep hitting... Don't know..CARAVANS recharge me for reg life each year. then things like this make it hard, for a bit, to breathe. ... Of course I will get past it...but not by thinking "ah well look at all I have done already" thats not enough nor would it be for anyone.

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